Season 14 of the Mad Rollin’ Dolls Roller Derby got underway on Saturday, January 13th as fans of all ages flocked to the Coliseum at the Alliant Energy Center.
Black & Bluebirds 163, RumbleBeez 154 (stats)
The first bout of the night was an exhibition match of the Wreckers Madison Roller Derby’s (recreational league) two teams, the Rumble Beez and the Black & Blue Birds. The ‘Birds wasted no time in getting a lead with two big jams from foster skater, Nat Splat, who led her team with 51 points. Seven minutes into the game, the ‘Birds led by 20, 45-25. Two jams later, Dammit Janet rolled for 21 points in a power jam to put her team up even further, 73-42.
The ‘Beez struggled to keep up, mainly due to jammer penalties. They gave their opponents power jams in the final five jams of the first half. Despite this, VHS RewindHer was still able to net nine points in the final jam of the period for the ‘Beez. The ‘Birds held a 43-point advantage at halftime, 107-64.
The RumbleBeez began clawing their way out of their hole, holding the ’Birds scoreless for the first five jams of the second half. While their defense stepped up their game, the offense was still a little sluggish, partially due to great defense by blockers Gloom (foster skater), Mae Lay, and Poke E Doll of the ‘Birds.
Offensively, Evil Elfsies was the one bright spot for the ‘Beez, scoring a game-high 67 points and keeping the game within reach for her team. She reeled off a 14-point jam with four minutes left in the game to close the gap 150-129. In the final jam of the game, The Mad Gabber (foster skater) cruised for 25 points for the ‘Beez, but they still fell short. The ‘Birds held on to win 163-154.
Vaudeville Vixens 182, Unholy Rollers 178 (stats)
The 2018 season of the Mad Rollin’ Dolls started with the Unholy Rollers taking on the Vaudeville Vixens. The Unholies wasted no time in establishing themselves in the new year by jumping to a 33-10 lead early on. Their lead held for the first 15 minutes of the game, but the Vixens stayed in it with tough jams from Shantastic McAwesome. Eventually, Vixen jammer Blanche Devereauxxx tied it 48-48.
Over the next eight minutes, the lead changed hands four times. With six minutes left in the half and the Unholies ahead 73-69, Gertrude Awakening charged through for 10 points, but on the same jam, Black Velvet spun through the pack for 14 to knot the score at 83. On the next jam the Vixens reclaimed the lead and in the waning minutes of the half, built the lead up to 98-85.
The Unholies notched up their defense at the start of the second half. The Vixens only scored three points in the first seven minutes of the period, due to tough defense by Toast and rookies Rhubarbian and Pegasass. They overtook the Vixens 103-101 on a four-point jam by Tango de Muerte, who led all scoring with 77. On the next jam, Dalek Doll scampered through the pack for 20 points on a power jam to put the Vixens back on top. The lead changed four times again over the next 11 minutes. With 12 minutes to go in the game, the Vixens clung to a 141-140 lead.
The game stayed close for the remainder of the game. With 24 seconds left in the game, the Unholies led 178-167. Shantastic McAwesome rambled for 15 of her team-high 55 points while Tango de Muerte occupied the penalty box twice in the final jam in an exciting turn of events. The Vixens emerged victorious 182-178.
Reservoir Dolls 219, Quad Squad 208 (stats)
The final bout of the evening pitted the Reservoir Dolls against two-time defending champions Quad Squad. The Res Dolls took advantage of the high energy lingering in the building from the previous bout by getting out to an early lead. They consistently gained lead jammer status to build up an 86-29 lead halfway through the first half with tough jams by Tenacious D and Mouse and effective blocking by Ms.Mechanix, Calla DeWilde, and Full Frontal Jewdity.
Quad Squad’s turn towards the dark side seemed to be affecting them offensively. Their jammers were spending a lot of time in the penalty box, and when they were on the track, they were being stifled. They only had two double-digit jams in the entire first half, a 10-point effort from The Trickster and a 13-point rush from Chick Chick Boom. The half ended with the Res Dolls leading by 54 points, 127-73.
The start of the second half didn’t fare much better for Team Green, until Spam squeezed through for 15 of her team-high 65 points eight minutes into the half. They not only started netting more points per jam, their defense also began to clamp down on Res Doll jammers, with notable efforts from Poison Dart, Conan the Mean Librarian, and rookie Quilla DeVille.
The Res Dolls were still ahead by 21 points, 177-156, when Res Doll jammer Nat Splat lost a wheel, passed her star to Siouxpernova, remained on the track, and continued to block. The Quad Squad seemed to use the unusual situation to gain momentum and sneak back into the game. With five minutes left in the game, they crept to within nine points, 200-191. In the second to last jam, Ice Pick of the Quad Squad took a star pass and then ended up in the penalty box at the end of the jam. Reservoir Dolls got a power jam start, but Quad Squad held tight to their defenses, and Ice Pick got lead jammer status coming from the box. Ice Pick then got “iced” by the Reservoir Dolls defense while Nat Splat enjoyed a couple of scoring passes. In the end, the Res Dolls upset the Quad Squad 219-208.
That’s right! The Mad Rollin' Dolls are back in the Veteran’s Memorial Coliseum at the Alliant Energy Center, and it’s an all-pirate themed evening of hard hits and fast moves! Doors open at 5p.m. and first whistle at 6 p.m.
- Peter Rabid